Updates...

So, as usual, I don't really get on this blog very often.  I sporadically remember that I have one usually.  But, rarely do I ever actually get on and post.  However, I've been reminded that others occasionally visit this site and are curious as to how I am doing.  I guess I don't reveal much on Facebook, either, so this is one of many ways in which to find out the happenings of my life.  Maybe I'll try and make a habit of posting something every other week or so.  I'm sure I could carve out some time somewhere in my hectic life.  But no promises...

Hmm...so what's new with me!  Really, not much.  Still working in SLC as a paramedic for a private ambulance company.  Things are going well there.  Still wish I could get hired at a city fire department. That's definitely more of my dream.  But until then, I just plug along and work on my skills.  Recently moved stations from Midvale to Sandy.  Like the change a whole lot better.  Feels more comfortable.  Also still work for Sundance and volunteer at NFFD.  Mostly, though, I'm in SLC with work.  Very rarely do I work at Sundance anymore.  Only pick up shifts about every other month.  But then, they only seem to offer me shifts that I can't work.  But, I have picked up a few shifts with Sundance the last couple of weeks.  Now that we're going into the slow season, there won't be hardly any shifts to pick up.  That's okay.  I don't depend on Sundance for an income.  Just nice to pick up a shift or two to augment my income.  I'm trying to become more involved with NFFD.  Work at least 1 weekend shift a month up there.  Wish I could do more sometimes.  But, I do still live in the canyon and respond when I can when the pager goes off.  Been on a few calls lately that were good.  Just wish there wasn't as much time in between calls.

Some people lately have asked why I haven't been dancing as much.  That's an interesting question.  Really, it boils down to one main thing.  The cost-benefit ratio of dancing for me isn't what it use to be. The benefits of dancing use to be much higher and thus I spent more time dancing around at different places.  Now, the costs of dancing far outweigh the perceived benefits I receive.  And when I refer to costs, it's not just money and time.  One strong argument for dancing is that I get to meet a variety of girls and potentially find those I can date.  Lately, that hasn't been much of a draw to it.  Either I feel too old to date the girls or they're just not appealing enough to me to ask them out.  I'm still friends with many and I do still enjoy dancing on the rare occasion.  It's just not my scene anymore.  Maybe I'm just in a different state that I was before.  Maybe I just don't love dancing as much.  But whatever the case may be, it's just not as much of a passion for me as it use to be.

Church is good for me.  Not much to report there.  Get along great with the bishopric.  Ward chemistry has changed a bit recently.  School is starting up soon, and we just got an influx of new people to the ward.  I admit that I don't feel the intimate connection that I use to have with a lot of the ward members.  It's not that I don't have friends in the ward because I do.  But, I'm not as close to most of the ward like I use to.  It's probably mostly my fault.  I've been so busy lately that I haven't really tried to build friendships with the ward like I use to.  I do still like the ward.  Thus, I will stay in the ward as long as possible.  But, I can't wait to "graduate" and move to the family ward.

Socially, things have changed a lot recently.  Kinda a long, weird story.  Anyway, here it goes!  Ever since I broke up with Christine, my dating life has kinda sucked.  Haven't really had any solid success in dating one girl or another.  It's not that I hadn't tried.  Well, maybe I didn't try all that hard.  But, I went thru the motions.  Went on a couple dates here and there.  Nothing too substantial.  Did try and date this one girl that I had a crush on for several years.  Didn't work out, though.  Really, I just wasn't feeling much in the dating scene for myself.  I couldn't ever put a finger on it, but I just didn't feel like dating.  I knew I needed to date and I wanted to date someone.  I just didn't have much motivation to do it.  Can't explain why.  I just didn't have the drive to date.  Like I said, I'd go on the occasional date. They were all fun.  I just couldn't get myself to be interested in any of those girls.  All of them were great girls in one way or another.  All of them were good-looking.  Each one had some unique traits that attracted me to them in some way or another.  So, it wasn't like I was wasting my time or theirs in going on dates with them.  Despite all that, I just couldn't get enough traction to get anything going.  I just didn't feel right about it.  I then came to the conclusion to pretty much give up on serious dating.  I would date for fun and that's it.  When something worthwhile came along, I'd focus on it.  But dating for marriage, well, I put that on the back burner (again) while I focus on other things.  I've talked to my parents a lot over the past few years and tried to figure out why I was in such a funk.  Neither they nor I could figure it out.  Some friends thought I was still holding onto feelings from dating Christine.  They said that if I couldn't move on past that then I'd never find a girl to date seriously.  But that wasn't it. I had already moved on past that.  Some just thought I was bitter about girls in general.  Trust me, it wasn't that.  I have many girl friends that I associate with and hang out with on a regular basis.  So, it couldn't be that.  No one could come up with a rational explanation for why I didn't want to date seriously.  I still don't think anyone can.  So, I gave up on dating seriously and planned to focus on other pursuits.  I still needed to get into my chosen career, so I could focus on that.  My student loans came out of deference, so I thought I could focus on them too and work a bit more so I wouldn't be so upside-down in debt.  There were a lot of things I began planning my life around to put myself in a better situation and make myself a better person.  And then it happened.  I got set up on a blind date.  I'd gone on a few blind dates recently.  I opened myself up and let my friends set me up on dates.  I think they enjoyed the thought of being a matchmaker for me.  I was open to the thought of dating but didn't really expect anything to go anywhere.  Most of these dates were real fun.  Met a lot of new girls with a lot of great personalities.  I did really enjoy myself.  But that being said, I just didn't feel like any of these new relationships would go anywhere other than just friendships.  That's it.  For one reason or another, I just didn't feel the chemistry.  Then, my friend Gwen called me up and told me I should ask out a friend of hers.  She recently was getting her hair done by a friend from home named Beckie Motola.  Beckie and Gwen were talking about life and dating and then the subject of Susie came up.  Susie is Beckie's older sister.  Beckie, I guess, talked about how she wanted Susie to find and date a good guy.  I guess Susie had just gotten out of some bad relationships recently and Beckie wanted her to find some happiness.  Then Gwen had the idea of setting up an old coworker of hers with Susie.  That old coworker happened to be me. Gwen, of course, talked up Susie and told me how similar all of our interests were and that I should ask her out.  At that point in my life, I was up for just about anything.  I've never been the type to reject asking before I actually meet the girl.  I try and get to know everyone and give each date at least a fighting chance of working out.  So, I consented.  My shyness came out a bit and it took me awhile to get the courage to ask Susie out.  Of course, I went to Beckie's Facebook to at least see a picture of what Susie would look like.  When I saw the picture, I immediately remembered who Susie was.  We had bumped into each other on various calls in Provo Canyon.  Never really said much to each other.  Too busy with our rescue responsibilities to chat.  She works for Utah County Search and Rescue and comes to assist us at NFFD on a lot of our rescues in the canyon.  So, I had seen her around before.  And, I just assumed that she was either married or dating someone.  There aren't many girls in the public safety field.  There are even fewer cute girls around my age in the public safety sector.  There are even less that are actually single and that I'd have the courage to ask out.  That was kinda my assumption with Susie.  So when I found out she was single, I admit there was a slight glimmer of hope that things could work out between us.  But, I kept it at bay.  When I finally did ask her out, it was great!  We talked for several hours initially.  Then, since we were still talking, we decided to meet for ice cream and continue the conversation there.  We then met up and talked for even more time until we were both too tired to talk.  For the first time in a long time, I was excited about dating.  I had found a girl that I could talk to and enjoyed getting to know.  Our conversation  wasn't all superficial stuff but stuff about our lives and our dreams.  I wanted to ask her out again but wasn't sure how she felt.  Due to some other complications and plans, I couldn't ask her out right away.  I left for my sister's wedding and also had a busy week or two at work.  When I did finally ask her out again, there was no response.  I tried a few times and a few different ways, but nothing happened.  So rather than be hurt again, I gave up on the relationship.  It was only one date.  Maybe she had found someone else that was more of a compatible match for her.  Maybe it simply was she didn't like me that way.  Maybe her sister and friends decided I wasn't a good match for her.  My mind raced with all the possibilities.  As well, I didn't want to waste Susie's time nor mine on a relationship that wasn't going anywhere.  So, I gave up and moved on.  Life returned back to normal for a week or two.  Then Gwen called me back and asked if I liked Susie.  I said yes.  She then asked why I didn't ask her out again.  I explained that I had tried and it had gone nowhere, so I had given up and moved on.  She then went on to tell me that Susie was in fact interested and was waiting for me to ask her out again.  From my viewpoint, I couldn't see that.  I felt that this girl had already rejected most of my advances and thus had made it clear she was not interested.  However, I was willing to listen to Gwen's perspective since she may have heard things that I didn't know about.  Besides, "girl talk" always brings up things that we as guys never hear about.  And I'm always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt.  So, Gwen told me I should ask her out again.  Although reluctant, I agreed I would.  The next best opportunity for me to ask out Susie was for the full moon lift ride in July at Sundance.  It's a great time to talk since you're stuck all alone on a lift for an hour with just the two of you.  Kinda a sink-or-swim moment, you know?  So, I asked Susie out again.  And she said yes!  I picked her up for our date and went on the lift ride.  We again had a great conversation on the lifts, just trying to get to know each other better.  So, the date went well.  Luckily, I had built up enough courage by then that I asked her out again for another date.  And she said yes again.  And then I asked her out again.  And she again said yes again.  And now I'd dating this wonderful girl named Susie Motola.  We've had many good talks now with lots of interesting questions and games.  In one game, we compete to see who is the bigger nerd.  I think it's a close tie between us.  On our dates, we've now butchered a pig, placed fenceposts, went for a drive in the canyon, ate dinner with her family, went to her first demolition derby, attended work BBQs, and on and on.  Things are going so well between us that it is almost scary.  I feel so natural in our relationship.  Things aren't forced or manipulated.  They just flow.  We both have ridiculously busy schedules, but somehow we seem to find the time to talk or see each other.  I've spent many nights at her place talking, staying much longer than I had planned or should have stayed.  But I just can't get enough of her!  I love spending time with her.  I wish I could spend all my time with her!  She's an amazing girl!  Sure, she's had her issues.  But then, so have I.  I don't judge her for her past, only where her future is going.  It's refreshing to be with a girl that I have so much in common with.  It feels so natural.  I don't know how else to explain it.  I would have never guessed that I would be in this situation right now.  Like I mentioned before, I had given up on dating anyone serious.  I figured it would happen eventually but probably not anytime soon.  And yet now, here I sit, in a serious, committed relationship.  I would never have guessed I would be this happy!  Now, where do we go?  Well, there's only really one place I want this to go.  But, I won't focus too much on the future and enjoy each day with her as if it were my last.  I really do cherish the time that I get to spend with her!  And I don't even care that she'll be reading this!  This is the happiest I've been in quite awhile.  Yay!

Can't think of anything else to blog about right now.  If there's more, I'll write about it later.  But now, off to work...

Hmm...

So, I've realized that I, once again, neglected to update my blog. Not that I have much to write, though. I wish there were more to update on this, but I don't have an exciting life. At least, not yet. Been busy, though! I promise! I will try and be better at this. Supposedly, this is how many keep up with my life. Well, here it goes!!!

Work is good. I hate commuting! But, I enjoy my job. Wish it were a fire job, though. Soon enough, I'll get hired somewhere. I'm learning what I can when I can. I seem to be a white cloud for every single truck I'm on. There just doesn't seem to be many calls on the trucks I run on. Oh well! I haven't lost my skills entirely yet! Working several jobs is killer! I realize how much I shouldn't become a workaholic! But, things are easing up since the ski season is done now. I won't be up at Sundance too often now. Now I can start focusing on other things in my life!

Socially, I'm not doing anything. I've worked way too much to allow any time for "other pursuits". Sadly, I have no one to blame but myself. But, I will soon correct this mistake (I hope)! I do go dancing twice a week. That's good. And, I play volleyball once a week. So, I do see people outside of work constraints! Dating any of them? Well, that's another problem. Maybe I should get over my shyness and actually ask a girl out! I missed an opportunity with one girl recently. She's moving to Las Vegas this weekend for a job. Sad to see her go! But then, I didn't make any moves earlier and this is a great career move for her. Not really much else socially going on otherwise. Kicking myself regularly for being a wuss. But then again, what's new?

Been traveling a bit, applying for jobs. Gotten pretty far in some and not so far in others. Still haven't gotten hired with a fire department yet. Trying, though. I'll have to update this with more details when I know them...

Denver!

So, I just got back from Denver today. Wow! I never thought I could cram so much into such a short trip! Well, I guess I could have tried to stick more into the schedule. I'm glad I didn't! I'm REALLY tired right now! But, I'm at work tonight, covering for someone who was sick. So, I've got time to update the blog! I'm getting better at updating this thing! Yay for updates!

So, let me explain my trip. I scheduled the trip to take a fire test in Denver. The test is used by twelve different departments to draw from when they're looking for candidates to hire. I went out for a test that took me about an hour and a half to take. But I got there on Saturday night and left early Tuesday morning. A bit expensive but definitely worth it! I got in Saturday and hung out with my buddies and some of his friends that he grew up with. Sunday was full of church and meetings and home teaching. It was fun to see how the church is run out there in comparison with where I'm at. Not any differences in the doctrine. Just in the way people handle the situations in their current circumstances and environment. Interesting to watch how people act/react to life's experiences. The singles ward out there was neat. A lot of good members. Even a few cute girls I could enjoy getting to know a little better! Monday was test day, so I wasn't up too late Sunday night. Like I mentioned before, the test only took me an hour and a half. I wasn't the first one to finish. But, I was within a few minutes of him. After the test, I went out to eat with my buddy Preston and his family. Then, I relaxed for an hour or so before I picked up Preston from work and went to see his dad's training center. Quite a sight! Their fire district spent about $19 million for the fire training facility. It was totally worth it, though! It is a state-of-the-art facility with several classrooms, great fire props, and plenty of space to practice. I'm jealous! I would love to train at a facility like that! Wow! It's amazing! After the tour, Preston and I went home and ate before his FHE. Their FHE activity was glow-in-the-dark basketball which was kinda fun. I wish more people had shown up but I was happy to play with those that did. Then, I hit the sack early so I could wake up in time and not miss my flight. Kinda a whirlwind of a trip. But, it was fun! I really liked Denver! Was there anything specific that drew me there? Not that I can recall. I just really like the area and town. I have some strange attraction to the area. Really can't place a finger on what draws me to that area. I just know it's something I need to investigate and pursue. We'll see if I get a job out there or not! I haven't heard any specifics as to whether any of the twelve departments will hire or not. There were a couple maybes but no definite plans by any of them to hire in the near future. Let's hope they do! I wouldn't mind working in the Denver area!

As far as other updates in my life...

I voted today! Yay for voting! It's weird to think how passionate I was about voting this year. Over the last few months, I've done a lot of researching on candidates and issues. By no means did I become an expert on any specific subject matter. I did learn a lot about what I believe and possibly what others believe. Needless to say, I felt it was very important for me to vote. I've never been one to really discuss politics. I think it brings out too much contention and anger when people talk about it. I've had only a handful of calm, non-confrontational discussions when politics and opinions about such are brought up. I guess that's why I've always avoided the topic. So, I voted today. Felt I voted for those I could support in office. Some of my votes were rewarded with helping someone gain or stay in office. Others didn't. Some of the issues and propositions that I voted on didn't go my way, either. But, the majority of the people spoke and so I will make the most of what will be done. It will be another interesting two years. I hope the right people were elected to bring about the change that this state and country need. However, I'm a bit skeptical as to whether or not these candidates will follow through on their promises. I think we're in for another long two years of difficulties and strife. But then, I may just be too jaded...

Work is still work. For being slow, we're still quite busy. Not anything like what we've been before, but we're not dead quiet yet. I'm glad to see guests around. It gives me something to do. Intermission will be difficult. Not sure how I'll entertain myself for the several hours of nothingness that will be my shifts for the rest of this month. I'm glad to have a job; don't get me wrong. But, there are some issues that I wish would get resolved. How to bring about change in an atmosphere that sticks to the norms and fights change? I'm up for any ideas!

Family life is still difficult. Not really much I can do except pray...

Trying to keep my promise to myself and go on one date per week. Haven't done one yet this week and the week is almost half over. Better get on it! Several girls (both new and old) that I'd love to take out! We'll see how I do in asking them out...

Music has become a stronger passion in my life as of late. I've begun examining why I like certain genres more than others. As well, I've been trying to listen to the lyrics more often and try to understand what they're saying. I guess that's why I'm becoming more and more a country fan. I usually consider myself a mood guy, listening to whatever music suits my mood. But, country music has seemed to dominate my listening as of late. Am I becoming old and weird? Maybe. Am I overly concerned about it? Definitely not.

Well, that's enough rambling for the night. Now, to get ready for the rest of the morning!!!

Random ramblings...

Wow! Another week has come and gone. And what do I have to show for it? Hmm...that's an interesting question. Let me see...

The beginning of the week started out normal. Church services were great, as always. Good talks and lessons. Definitely need to continually improve and get better. FHE was good. Should have stayed longer but I scheduled a date that night, too. Didn't think FHE would go so long! So, I bailed a bit earlier than expected so I wouldn't be late on a date (Hey! I rhymed!). The date was good. Still have a hard time reading that girl! Not sure if she's interested in going on more dates or not. When I'm with her, it's great! She's so kind and seems interested. But, communicating with her by other means than face-to-face gives me the impression she's not into me as much as I may be into her. Oh well! I'm taking the philosophy of asking until I get a definitive "No" or something to that effect. I'll keep you updated on that. Training at the fire department was fun. We just watched a bunch of training videos to prepare for this weekend's extrication and fire drills. That'll be lots of fun! Did get stuck up at the station for a bit while waiting for the plows to clear the roads. We got a good dumping of snow Tuesday night which continued until Wednesday afternoon. It's weird that it happened so early in the year. Must be global warming (*snicker*)! There weren't any accidents to respond to, though. I'm not sure if I'm happy about that or not. Country dancing was fun! I do enjoy dancing more that I ever thought I would. I invited some of my friends who don't normally go to join me. Only one ended up showing up. I'm glad she showed up. I didn't think she would. She's a busy girl and has lots to do. But it was great that she showed up! A bit perplexed about the whole scenario, but that's a topic I'll have to discuss in private and not on this blog. At least, not in specifics! I also had a job interview on Wednesday with an ambulance service. It's not the ideal job I wanted with my certifications. However, it does pay better than my current job. And, it will be another reference to add to my resume to help land my dream job. That's a definite plus! As well, it will help me pursue a few potential options here in Utah while I try to figure out my interest in these girls while I still have time. The HR lady says they plan on hiring someone. Not really thinking they'll hire a paramedic since they're full of them. But, they are trying to add more to their department. So, that's good. She made it sound like I am their first option when it comes time to hire. But then I've been wrong about that before (South Jordan). Only time will tell what the outcome may be! And that wraps up the week thus far. Have work Friday night, training all day on Saturday, and then fly out to Denver for a job application that night. Will spend Halloween in Denver, which should prove to be interesting. I'll fly back from Denver on Tuesday, just in time to vote. It's weird that I feel such an urge to vote in this election. I feel much more passionate about this election than I have in years past. Why? I can't really point my finger at it. Nevertheless, I will vote and make my voice heard!

Okay. So that's my life for the past week. It sounds rather boring when I reread it. Sorry! Sleep deprivation seems to make me more blunt and less creative. I guess that's what I get for staying up so late and getting up so early! I wish I could get on a more regular schedule! But alas, I want to play too much and yet still have to work to make a living. So, I'll sneak in what little sleep I can when I can find the time to do so. But it appears that may be getting harder and harder to do if I keep taking on so much. Oh! Here are some other updates in my life!

Family - Things are good here. It was Teri and Daniel's birthdays today. Couldn't get ahold of either, so I left them voicemail messages. Hope they got them! Things seem to be going okay here. Once again, no news is good news. Things are still tense and up in the air about some difficulties. But, we'll weather the storm like we always do!

Dating - Hmm...what can I say? I'm dating around, pursuing several options. One in particular stands out above the rest. There are a few that have shown interest and that I may pursue further as well. We'll see what happens as the weeks progress! My goal of at least one date per week is going well. I only set this goal a few months back, so I can't really say I've progressed very far in it. But, even these small baby steps for me is more than I've done normally! We'll see if I get a date on Saturday while out in Denver. My friend is setting me up on a date out there. So, I'll update you if that happens, as well as other dating stories.

School - So, I haven't decided if I'll go back to school sometime in the future or not. I'm kinda burned out with the whole structured school thing. It feels relieving to be done for now. However, I do lack a few online classes to officially finish my second bachelors. But do I do it next semester or not? That's the pivotal question. My fear is I'll procrastinate until the last moment which will mean I won't take the classes this upcoming semester. But, I'm not in a great financial position to really take the needed courses. Alas! What should I do?!?

And that's all I have to say about that...