Patience is a virtue...

So, I've come to realize lately that I've got more weaknesses than I'd like to admit. Before I get too in-depth with this topic, I want to clarify that in no way am I depressed and/or moping. I'm happy and content with the way things are going thus far in my life. There could be some course corrections here and there which will get me closer to my destination. However, I'm enjoying the journey!

So, about these apparent weaknesses...

I'm realizing each day that patience is not a virtue that I possess loads of. Whether it be work, school, dating, careers, family life, or any other situation, I get impatient rather easily. I'd like to blame it on society and say that they've made me into the creature that I am. However, that's using a scapegoat and not owning up to the person really responsible for my behavior (which is me). I cannot blame anyone else but myself for the way I act. I've noticed lately that my career and dating pursuits have made my impatience more and more evident to my own view. Now, maybe I'm my own worst critic in this situation. However, I think there's a lot of truth to the perspective that I have. I want things to happen on my timeline. I have a difficult time patiently waiting for things to happen the way I want. For example, I applied to a job with a certain department. They eventually called back and we went through the whole interview process. They promised that they'd have an answer in about two weeks. I was able to patiently wait those two weeks, although I hoped I wouldn't have to. It's now been well over two months and still no response. I know they've hired one guy who's still in school. He should finish up in early April. But, there were two positions open. Who'd they get to fill the other position? Or did they not fill it at all? I want to hear from them and just know whether or not the position was filled. I won't be heartbroken if they say no. At this point in time, I just assume that the answer is no. But, it's been hard for me to patiently wait on an answer from them. Is that bad of me? Another example of my impatience is in dating. I want things to happen now. It's hard for me to sit by the phone, waiting for the girl to call back. I admit that I'm not the greatest at immediately returning calls and texts. But, I do make a concerted effort to return the call or text as quickly as I can. I think it's just common courtesy to do so. But then, I've been called "old-fashioned" in many of my views. I'm trying to remain optimistic and force myself to learn this lesson of patience. I'm doing okay with it. But, I've got a long way to go before I can call it a strength...

Another wonderful virtue I lack which has been made apparent to me is my self-mutilation ploy that is so common in my conversations. I don't consider myself anything spectacular and it comes out in my conversations. Several girls have called me out on this matter. I consider myself an average guy with several talents. Nothing spectacular or amazing. Nothing where I excel beyond my peers. But, I do think I'm unique in my varied interests and likes. I'm okay at dancing, sports, work, church, school, manual labor, and a whole host of other things. There are many that excel far beyond my skill level. And, I do acknowledge that there are others who haven't reached the level of comfort that I have. There will always be those who are better and worse than I am. That's a given in life and makes this world special. A few close female friends have called me out on this ploy while dancing. They chide me about how my skills are much better than I admit to and that I should be out dancing on the floor more than I do. I just realize what I have and know that there are others out there who are far more gifted. I'm trying to work on this whole self-confidence thing and be more comfortable with who I am and what I've been given. I'd like to consider myself a more humble and reserved guy when it comes to admitting my talents. I thank God that I have been given so many. But, how do I express these gifts without coming across cocky or proud?

So, I guess that's enough of that string of conversation. On to the updates!

Umm...well...updates? I just realized that there's not really much to update the world on. Not much really has changed this past week. I did get to spend a few hours talking to a close friend. And that was awesome! I haven't seen her since she came home from her mission earlier this year. We've talked a couple times since she's been home but haven't seen each other until this past week. Glad that I could spend some time with her and get updates on her life. Family life seems a bit strained this week. Several things have gone on which has increased the stress in my immediate family's life. Not sure what to do right now but pray. I'm starting to feel a bit ostracized when it comes to updates in my own family. I think they're worried about how I'll take the news. I know they know that I care about my family and want the best for them. I think they just don't want to trouble me with the news anymore. It's not like I can do much from out here anyway. But that doesn't prevent me from worrying about them. Maybe they think that since I'm so removed from the situation that I don't fully comprehend it all. Who knows?!?

Well, that's about all my ramblings for the night. Sorry if it bores you! I'm happy that I'm learning and doing what I do, though. Yay for life's lessons!