At another crossroad in life...

So, I'm trying to be a bit more consistent with this whole writing-and-updating thing. I've been told this is how several people keep up with the events of my life since I don't call regularly. With that in mind, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and write semi-regularly on my blog. It will be interesting to see the reactions I get if I keep writing in this thing. Maybe laughter? Ridicule? Surprise? Sometimes I'm not sure if people really want to know what I'm thinking. But alas, here are my ramblings for tonight...

First off, work was exhausting this week! And trying! Supposedly, the resort is going into a "slow time" right now. Since the summer season is over and the winter season has yet to begin, we're in a sort of transition phase at the resort. This is a normal thing for resorts like us. Nothing unusual about it. However, I keep hearing that we'll be slow. This weekend was anything but slow! We had a large group here of about 125. Most of them were from the East Coast. Of course, this is a different mentality than that of the West Coast people. Luckily, that wasn't too much of a factor. The whole resort was bustling with activity, trying to tailor to the needs of the group. And boy was this group needy! All of us around the resort were consistently running around with demands and needs of the guests. Each night I found myself spending the majority of the night trying to answer the many varied requests of our guests. Many of these requests were absurd and odd, but I did all that I could to meet them to the best of my abilities. They definitely tried my patience on several occasions. I guess it was a good experience for me in the fact that I learned how to become better at customer service. I just wish they weren't so demanding at times! But, I've survived thus far. Only a few more hours before this week's shifts are over. Then it really gets slow at the resort. Not sure what I'll do with my time when there's absolutely no one around here. Maybe pick up reading books again???

So, I fly out to Denver the end of this month to start the application process there for fire jobs. My buddy thinks I have a good chance of getting hired out there. I have my doubts since very few places I've heard of are hiring anybody. Maybe I'm a bit jaded after applying for so many jobs up to this point who say they'll hire but end up not doing a thing. My thoughts are that I'll believe it when I see it. I'm trying to be optimistic despite obvious sentiments of pessimism, but I'm not sure how optimistic I can remain in this difficult economy. Nonetheless, I'm going to try and get hired somewhere! Denver seems like an excellent place to work. Many friends have given me glowing reviews of the city and say how much they think I'll love it there. I'm a bit nervous about it all since I've been out here for so long now. I do enjoy a good adventure and will adjust quite quickly to a new environment/setting. Still, there does come some uncertainties when moving to a new town. I think I'd really enjoy myself out in Denver. Especially if I got a job out there. It would be a relief to finally start into a career. But I've grown so accustomed to life here that I know it won't be easy to leave all this behind. I've got so many good friends here that I would hate to leave behind. I'm sure I could make just as many in a new place, though. It will be hard to change, but maybe that's the only way I can learn, grow, mature, and get further in life. Maybe a move to Denver is just what I need! I guess we'll see what happens after the test on the 1st...

I'm starting to realize as I get older (which is kinda odd to say) I have grown to appreciate my family even more. I've always been very independent and do my own thing with little involvement from my family. Moving away from my family after my mission was not a difficult thing to do. But as I've lived out here, I've begun to miss my family even more. I don't get to see them very often since they're so far away from me. I might get to see them about every other year or so. I guess I shouldn't complain too much about it though. At least they're not in a different country! Still, I wish I could afford to see them more. Time and money are two things that I have very little of. So, I don't see them as often as I should. I've been trying to call my family more regularly. And that's not something I've been good at. In fact, I still struggle to do so. But with practice comes confidence and increased ability. And that's what I'm hoping for! I'm also trying to visit extended family more often since some of them are closer than my immediate family. Although not exactly like my immediate family, the love I feel there is good enough to get me through life. Family has become a major priority in life. Their importance in my life has increased with time. I can't point to any specifics, but the need for closeness with family members has increased as I grow older. Oh, how I love my family!

Socially, I'm still trying to get back in the saddle. Dating was never a strong point in my life. But with practice come confidence and growth. So, I've been trying to date more. Haven't had the greatest of success yet. I still consider myself inexperienced in the game of dating. I've gone on several dates this month. Nothing spectacular. Just some simple dates. I'm happy now that I'm dating again. It's something I know I need to do more of. And, I need to move on with my life. And my fear of dating is something I feel is holding me back from reaching my full potential. I'll update you later on if there's any significant "distractions" that catch my focus!!!

Obviously, you can tell what a couple of my major "crossroads" are in life curerntly: dating and a career. I have to admit that there are a couple girls who catch my fancy and that I'd love to date. At least, I think they'd be pretty fun to get to know better. But only through dating will I find out if there's more to it than just first impressions. The career hunt, however, is causing some conflict on how I date. I'm really focused on finding a career. I want to get started with that aspect of my life. However, I know that finding a wife is an even higher priority. Now, I'm not saying that there's only one place where I can find that special someone. I'm sure I could find one just about anywhere in this world. However, the statistical advantage here in Utah is definitely in a guy's favor. It's hard not to enjoy the ratio of guys-to-girls out here. And although this is putting the cart before the horse, I'm kinda scared to start a relationship with a girl here. Why? Because I don't want to start something here in Utah only to end it because I'm moving elsewhere. Sure, I guess I could help the relationship move along such that she's willing to move with me elsewhere. But I feel that in order to do that, I should probably have helped the relationship to have progressed far enough that marriage is the end result. I feel it's too much to ask a girl to move somewhere with me just on the hopes that it will turn out that way. Now take in mind that I know several girls who have done that. A good friend did it and now she's happy engaged to the man of her dreams. And I think that's awesome! But, I feel that it's an awful lot to ask of a girl. Sure, I should let her make that decision. It's not like I would force her to make that decision. Ultimately, it's her decision anyways to move and take that chance. I just feel bad even thinking I'd have to put a girl in that kind of predicament. Thus, I'm scared (at least to a certain extent) to start something here. I did take a girl on a date last week that I think would be open to discussing that idea. By no means are we at a point in our friendship that I would ask that of her. However if it were to progress to that point, I'm still not so sure I could ask that of her. It's a lot to ask of anybody. If I were married and had a wife, moving would be an easier option. At least, I think it would be easier. I would be able to counsel with her about the move and work it out that way because we'd both have to move together. Sure, making the decision as a single guy is easier since I only have to worry about myself. But, I'd hate to have a great relationship developed only to end it with a move to another place. Am I being weird about this? Am I stressing about something that is so inconsequential? Am I stressing about something that isn't even worth it? i guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Until then, I'll just worry about myself and see what I can do to make things happen in my life. But what if...