So, I guess I'm a bit off lately...

I know, I know.  Writing in this thing repeatedly will be a record.  I'm not one for writing in this kind of thing on a regular basis.  But, I'm finding with time that writing feelings down is very theraputic for me.  It's not the best method of communication, but it's better than no communication at all!

So, I think I scared a lot of people with my last post.  I apologize for those who had to witness one of my "down" moments.  I needed to vent and that happened to be the method and means for me to vent at the moment.  It's been a rough month for me.  I'm trying my best to stay as optomistic and positive about the future.  I know things will eventually work out.  They always do.  It's just being patient and weathering the storm through it all.  I've prayed for patience and hoped the Lord would teach me how to become more patient.  I guess this is my chance to do so!

I'm feeling better today.  Working outside is another way I seem to deal with my feelings.  I like being able to exert energy into projects.  It's a productive way to release tension that builds up inside of me.  And, I can think a bit clearer when I'm doing some type of manual labor.  Call me weird, but it works wonders for me!  Went to my FHE tonight.  Was kinda fun.  Tried to forget a lot of things.  However, had a disturbing call during FHE which drew me back into the drama that is my life right now.  I hope that I was able to calm them down and resolve a bit of the issues that are there.  We'll see when I hear the news tomorrow!  Still not sure what to do about my girl issues.  I really do need to get back into the dating scene and start from square one again.  It's so hard to pick up the pieces and figure out how to start again.  I'm learning better each time it happens on the best way to pick myself back up.  I'm not saying I've perfected the method; I'm only saying that I'm learning how to better handle it.  I joked with my mom today about getting an arranged marriage set up for me.  I don't think she liked the idea.  I don't think she completely knows what I want and look for in a girl.  So, I guess that option probably wouldn't work out so well.  I think I've bought into the Hollywood notion of how "true love" is suppose to be.  I hate admiting it, but that would be kinda nice to have.  I know it's not real but I find myself strangely wanting to believe it.  I need to snap out of this mentality that I'm in!  It's doing me no good at all!  Anyone got a suggestion?!?